Description
A powerful CBT approach to help you find freedom from obsessive relationship anxiety, doubt, and fear of commitment
Do you obsess over your partner’s flaws? Does thinking about the future of your relationship leave you imagining the worst-case scenario? When it comes to navigating the world of romantic relationships, some feelings of anxiety, doubt, and fear are to be expected. But if your fears so extreme that they threaten to destroy an otherwise healthy relationship, you may have relationship OCD—a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) that causes chronic obsessive doubt and anxiety in relationships. So, how can you free yourself to discover deeper intimacy and security?
Relationship OCD offers an evidence-based, cognitive behavioral approach to finding relief from relationship anxiety, obsessive doubt, and fear of commitment. You’ll learn to challenge the often-distorted thought patterns that trigger harmful emotions, increase your ability to think rationally, and ultimately accept the presence of intrusive thinking while maintaining the values of a healthy relationship.
Relationships are the ultimate unknown. If you’re ready to let go of needing to know for sure, this book will help you find satisfaction and thrive in your romantic relationships—in all their wonderful uncertainty.
This is a beautiful and much needed piece of OCD literature. I really enjoyed the authors’ insights on relationship OCD (ROCD), writing style, self disclosure and vulnerability about her own OCD struggles, and compassion for the OCD sufferer. Her passion for the healing process for relationship OCD shines through and there are a lot of practical tools laid out clearly for the healing work in living a life aligned with our values that’s no longer overtaken by OCD.
This book might have just rerouted the trajectory of my life and i’m not exaggerating in the slightest bit.
In the past couple of months I entered my first relationship, after years of choosing singleness and avoiding dating out of fear of the unknowns and generally being uncomfortable with the possibility of being hurt. Throughout the beginning phase my relationship i had felt so much internalized fear and anxiety, despite there being no logical or realistic reason to feel this way. like seriously no reason, my partner has been amazing and so patient and really is my best friend. when these fears and anxiety became so prevalent, i started spiraling thinking that surely my worst fears had come true and this actually was the wrong relationship and i had made an awful mistake somehow (even tho i usually felt fulfilled and happy).
for a couple of months i tried to push through the constant (unwarranted) relationship anxiety, because rationally i knew this is a healthy and good relationship. I battled with this until i was simply SO exhausted and EMOTIONALLY WORN OUT from my own emotions. i started DESPERATELY seeking some kind of guidance or advice on how to become more emotionally intelligent or anything in that vein. i dragged myself to the self transformation / psychology section of barnes and noble and i stumbled across this book. after reading the blurb on the back and the first few pages, i realized that this was exactly what i had been experiencing. admittedly, i was very embarrassed to be purchasing a book titled “Relationship OCD”. it felt as if i was confessing to myself, the cashier and the rest of the world that i was some sort of basket case who was a failure at relationships. but i bought the book anyway because i really really just needed something to explain what i’ve been dealing with and this book felt promising. and this book DELIVERED ON EVERY SINGLE ONE OF ITS PROMISES.
Every chapter, self guided exercise, and damn near every single word in this book was POIGNANT, PRACTICAL, and RELATABLE.
The book carries an incredible conversational yet formal and educational tone that i have never experienced before. it really feels like you are sitting down and having a discussion with your therapist you’ve been going to for years. It’s the perfect blend of research based science and modern-day social psychology that WILL HELP YOU FEEL UNDERSTOOD. Sheva Rajaee has such an empathetic and confident conviction that everything you are experiencing is normal, you are not alone, you are not crazy and that just by reading this book you have started the process of recovery and transformation. i felt a warm energy of acceptance coming from the author, which really really helped me while i was processing some tough stuff and challenging my own negative beliefs.
Although it’s only 180 pages, i took my time going through the book and finished it over the span of about 10 or 14 days i’m
not really sure. I wanted to make sure that i was able to process the information in small chunks and then try to apply the tools she had laid out in real time. and i can say that by the time i was 20 pages in, i was already able to better understand the pendulum swings of my own anxiety in my daily life.
Now that i’ve finished the book i feel that i know how my brain works – both with and against me. i feel very well equipped to forge my own path to “recovery” with the tools and exercises provided. And i plan to come back and re-read this book many times to fully digest and use her expertise to its fullest extent.
If you are struggling with relationship anxiety, regular anxiety, ocd or just any other negative thought patterns, THIS BOOK WILL HELP YOU. I cannot express how grateful i am to have found this resource when i truly needed it the most. Sheva Rajaee, you will forever be a rockstar in my world!! <3
I struggle with ROCD and after a long period of not having it, I found someone who I love deeply and it hit more than ever before. I decided to go to therapy again and also read this book to get some insight on what I’m going through and it not only gave me some hope about my relationship, but gave me a different outlook on life and the people you choose to let inside of it. Thank you Sheba for your beautiful insight on things. I will work as hard as I can to get through this for me and my partner.
This book has changed me for the better and if you suffer with ROCD – or even think there’s a possibility you might – you should get this book. As soon as I started reading the book, it was like reading my own thoughts. I never knew that it wasn’t just me having deep relationship struggles, with overthinking little comments or aspects of my partner’s history, etc. I ruminate like crazy, especially in the evenings before falling asleep. I imagine every negative relationship scenario possible happening and I have a genuine emotional response to each one, and I hate it. I could leave my partner after a wonderful day and on a positive note, only to be cold with them out of the blue (to them) because I’ve then gone home and obsessed over what ifs and minor past tiffs.
This book has genuinely made me feel seen – not to be cheesy! It also has helpful exercises to break down your thought processes and essentially rewrite them, amongst other things. Will it cure you? No, but it’s a start. Like with any mental health issues, you have to put the work in. The author highlights this themselves.
If you, like me, were on the brink of a break up, get the damn book!! I bought it out of desperation and recognition I have a problem. It’s already started improving my relationship and I have excitedly spoken to my partner openly about the book and he is so supportive. I’m sure other folks will have the same positive response, good luck!
Excellent book Sheva!!! You are an incredible writer who conveys such passion, wisdom and cleverness with your word usage. You CLEARLY get and have lived this subject. Very well done. God bless you.